Ask Before You Applaud

Most of us lead the way we were led. If the leaders who shaped you rarely said thank you, silence feels normal. You did the work, nobody said much, and you learned that meant you were doing fine. So when someone tells you recognition matters, it's fair to wonder why you should hand out something you rarely received yourself. 

And if you were lucky enough to have a boss who celebrated you, you picked up their style along with the habit. The public shout-out that lit you up became the way you thank everyone else. Both habits make sense, and both leave the people on your team guessing. 

Noticing the pattern 

Recognition tends to follow our own preferences. Leaders who love the spotlight hand out spotlights, and leaders who never received much tend to give very little. Meanwhile Bob, who would rather disappear than be singled out in front of the whole company, just got singled out at the all-hands meeting. 

This guessing game is more common than most of us realize. Research from Gallup and Workhuman found that just 22% of employees strongly agree they get the right amount of recognition for their work, and only 11% say anyone at their workplace has ever asked how they like to be recognized. 

When did you last ask someone on your team how they like to be recognized? 

Deciding to lead differently 

If you came up without much recognition, you already know what that silence feels like. That experience is worth something, because it makes you exactly the right person to change it for your team. 

Think about a boss you would have gone the extra mile for. Chances are, part of the reason was that you knew they appreciated you. Recognition usually points to something a person did, while appreciation reaches the whole person, the effort behind the work and what they're carrying outside of it. The leaders we remember offer both. 

That kind of leadership shows up in the numbers, too. The same research found that employees who received high-quality recognition were 45% less likely to have left their organization two years later. When people feel seen, they stay. 

Making a plan you'll keep 

Keep the plan simple enough that you'll actually follow it. It starts with one question: "How do you like to be recognized?" 

Then build that question into the rhythm you already have. Ask it in your next one-on-one, add it to onboarding for new hires, jot the answers somewhere you'll see them, and revisit it once a year, since preferences shift as people grow. 

Practicing until it sticks 

This is the unglamorous part, and it's where most good intentions stall. Recognition becomes part of how you lead once you've done it often enough that it stops feeling awkward. 

As you go, watch for the moments you want more of on your team: someone stepping up, helping a colleague, taking a smart risk, or keeping a long project moving. Then name them specifically. "Great job" fades by lunch, while "the way you handled that client's frustration kept the whole project on track" stays with someone for a long time. Specific recognition tied to real effort will never feel like a participation trophy. 

Aim for at least one meaningful moment of recognition each week and pay attention to how people respond. A month of steady practice will teach you more about your team than a year of meaning to get around to it. 

And if you're the leader who has given far more recognition than you've ever received, consider this your thank-you. The way you show up for your people matters, even on the days nobody says so. 

If building a culture of recognition is on your mind, we’d love to talk. Reach out to the Leadership Delta team and let's start the conversation. 

Be the Delta. 

About the Author 
Laura Boyd | Founder, Leadership Delta 

Laura Boyd is a leadership development strategist with 30+ years of experience helping organizations retain top talent and develop high-performing teams. She holds a Master's in Organizational Leadership and is the author of Words that Work for Leaders. Laura is a (Real) Power 50 honoree, recognized by Minnesota Business Magazine, and the founder of Leadership Delta, where she works with mid-market organizations to build leadership capacity from the inside out. 

Master's in Organizational Leadership · Published Author · (Real) Power 50 Honoree, Minnesota Business Magazine · LinkedIn