Self-Sabotage in the Workplace: How to Stop Undermining Yourself
Imagine this: you are about to land a huge client, finish a career-making project, or are otherwise on the cusp of achieving something monumental. Then, somehow, you miss a deadline, make a preventable mistake, or do something to undermine your chances of success. It can be brutal, watching your efforts slip through the cracks.
If this sounds familiar, you are likely engaging in self-sabotage. However, you are not alone! Keep reading to find out what self-sabotage is, why it is so prevalent (especially for women), and how to fight it.
What is self-sabotage, and why do we do it?
Self-sabotage is often characterized as people getting in their own way. It shows up in many different ways. At first glance, it seems completely illogical that we would deliberately hurt our chances of getting ahead or of success. But looking a little deeper, one way we can understand self-sabotage is a thought process that leads us to make choices to protect ourselves. Many people, especially women, were never taught to manage success. The potential for success to change our lives, even in positive ways, can conjure up feelings that success may change our relationship with people that we depend on. This can trigger a fight-or-flight response because success may bring the threat of being alone or losing relationships. Without a game plan for handling success, we may act out in ways that sabotage our efforts.
Additionally, imposter syndrome may be a common denominator among those who sabotage themselves. Imposter syndrome, which has been shown to besiege women and women of color disproportionately, distorts belief in our abilities and skills. Left unrecognized and unchecked, imposter syndrome can evolve from thoughts and feelings into behaviors that actively undermine our own success.
How to stop sabotaging yourself
The things that trigger self-sabotage are not always obvious or easy to uncover. However, there are a few ways to recognize it in your behavior and thought patterns. For example, when you are about to sabotage your work, you may experience defensiveness, especially when faced with feedback or criticism. This is harmful because it makes it difficult for you to accept help from others who may be trying to coach or provide valuable guidance. Additionally, many find themselves procrastinating or unengaged with their work, which leads to self-sabotage in the form of careless mistakes.
Recognizing, stopping, and preventing self-sabotage begins with self-awareness. The more you can recognize when your self-talk turns negative or discouraging, the better able you are to shift your thinking. Imposter syndrome thrives on negative self-talk, leading to making preventable mistakes and becoming dismissive of your goals, skills, and efforts. When you learn to acknowledge thought patterns that lead to self-sabotage, you can begin exploring the underlying causes.
However, we realize that developing self-awareness is much easier said than done. That’s why, at Leadership Delta, we have created a curriculum that helps guide leaders to greater self-awareness. Additionally, having a support system of mentors, trusted colleagues, or a network of like-minded fellow leaders who face similar challenges can help short-circuit thought patterns that would otherwise develop into destructive behaviors. This kind of support is invaluable in developing positive habits and mutually productive relationships that help you get out of the practice of self-sabotage. In fact, studies show that one of the biggest things leaders can do to succeed is to reach out for help.
Could you use some guidance in breaking the self-sabotage habit? Check out any one of Leadership Delta's workshops, forums, classes, and more! We have years of experience helping leaders like yourself develop skills and habits to take their work and their organization to the next level.